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Free Janine! And all political prisoners!

31 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in crime, prison | 6 Comments »

Janine James, née Lindemulder, is an adult film star better known to fans simply as “Janine” and famed largely for her performances in all-girl scenes such as those in Vivid Video’s Where the Boys Aren’t series.

Janine’s going to federal prison for six months for tax evasion.

From The News-Review, Roseburg, Oregon:

An adult film actress [...] was sentenced Monday to six months in federal prison for tax evasion.

U.S. Magistrate Thomas Coffin also ordered Janine M. James, 40, to live in a residential community corrections center for up to six months after her release from prison and to serve one year of supervised release.

[...]

Known in the adult film world as Janine Lindemulder, James pleaded guilty last summer to intentionally failing to pay her income taxes. During her sentencing in U.S. District Court in Eugene, Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher Cardani said James currently owes $294,000 in back taxes.

James, who first appeared in Penthouse magazine as the Pet of the Month in 1987 and later appeared in more than 50 adult films, was given until March 10 to report to prison.

I feel safer already.

Many people oppose pornography, saying that it’s degrading to women. In some cases, that’s very well-founded. In many others, it’s either untrue or irrelevant, reflecting the speaker’s own tastes rather than anything the rest of us need concern ourselves with.

As for degrading, though, what could be more degrading than writing this, as Janine did in her letter to the court?

“At this low point in my life, I tried to create the lifestyle I thought was taken from Sunny when her father left me for Sandra Bullock. That was a big mistake,” she wrote. “I was hurt and confused and made bad decisions about how I spent my money, ignoring my back taxes. I was threatened and intimidated by Jesse’s wealth, afraid I might lose my daughter to that wealth someday, and tried to ‘keep up.’”

Sunny is Janine’s almost-five-year-old daughter by one Jesse James, some other celebrity type, and will be placed in the custody of James and Bullock while Janine serves her time in the State’s cage.

Certainly, crimes have been committed here. But not the fantasy crime that was prosecuted — failing to timely bend over for your master — and that Janine will suffer for by being locked in cages away from her daughter for six months of her life and being forced into a State brainwashing program in the guise of a “halfway house”. The real crimes here are those of people like U.S. Magistrate Thomas Coffin, the IRS agents and Assistant U.S. Attorney Christopher Cardani, quoted in the article:

“While [Wesley] Snipes failed to report far more income than defendant James, her tax defiant conduct is similarly offensive. She has demonstrated an attitude of greed and privilege, and has taken advantage of her status as a high profile figure, while at the same time wantonly ignoring her obligation to pay taxes,” Cardani wrote in a pre-sentencing memo. “A meaningful sentence is necessary to get the message to her and others that no one is beyond the law and they must pay their taxes just like everyone else.”

You smug prick, Cardani. You want an image of “greed and privilege”? Take a good look in the mirror. You fucking tool. People have an “obligation” to pay taxes in the same way they have an “obligation” to hand over 100% of everything when a mugger sticks a gun in their face and says: “Give me all your money!” — that is, no obligation whatsoever.

For further degradation, head on over to the Luke is Back blog (warning: barely safe for work), where Luke reports on this story back in August when Janine pled guilty as part of an extortionate plea agreement. Commentary on the posting includes such illuminating gems as:

What in the world possesses people to refuse to pay their taxes? All these people volunteer to join the military and die for the nations cause and pieces of white filthy trash like Janine selfishly try to circumvent the system that pays for it.

and

Dumb, antisocial whore.

Way to blame and degrade the victim while feeding your own statist, sexist delusions, guys.

Free Janine! And all political prisoners!

Certificate of Loss of Nationality; Canceled US passport

31 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary | 11 Comments »

I visited the embassy today in response to the call I received yesterday. I was given a Certificate of Loss of Nationality of the United States (DS-4083), for which I signed a receipt.

I also received my US passport back, surprisingly. It has been canceled by punching four holes through all the pages. A notation is made on the last page saying, “Bearer expatriated self on Dec. 8, 2008 under provisions of INA 349(a)(5).”

The staffers suggested that the canceled passport may be of use to me in proving my identity to the Slovak authorities until and in the process of obtaining my stateless person’s identity documents. Works for me, another tool in the bag.

So, it’s really real. I’m a stateless person.

Enjoy the images. Click through for full-sized scans (2-2.5MB each).

I’m officially stateless

30 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary | 16 Comments »

Got a call yesterday (29 December 2008) from the US Embassy that my Certificate of Loss of Nationality of the United States has been received here in Bratislava.

The staffer offered me the choice of picking it up in person or having it mailed to me, with signature-on-delivery confirmation. I opted to pick it up in person.

If I don’t make it down there during their opening hours, it’ll have to wait until after the new year.

As far as I know, the issuance of this document means that I became a stateless person on 8 December 2008, that having been the day I swore the Oath of Renunciation and surrendered my US passport.

For more exciting bureaucracy, stay tuned to this channel!

Because it’s mine

29 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary, people | 10 Comments »

She throws off my attempt at a warm embrace, gets up from the bed and goes into my kitchen, where — for perhaps the fifth or sixth time this weekend — she retrieves the sharpest knife.

I’ve seen this before, once, a long time ago. I know that it’s one part plea for attention, one part cry for help, one part attempting to manipulate me, and still one more part the expression of a real desire to die.

Naked, she pulls the knife from the drawer once again. This time, unlike before, she’s closing the drawer, and as she was walking from the bed to the kitchen I could hear her saying, “Mike will survive; Mike will be all right.”

So this go around it’s time to leave the bed. I start getting up and call her name, but she doesn’t respond, closing the drawer. I approach her swiftly, from behind, infer from her posture which hand holds the knife. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and seize the hand with the knife, a bit too slowly, as she brings the other hand up to clasp the blade before I can catch her wrist and hold it.

Now I’m in a rather odd spot. There’s someone suicidal in my kitchen. Not only would I prefer she live, not only do I believe in her and care for her, but I’d also not like to face the calling of the authorities to remove my dead friend’s body. I’d not like to face cleaning up liters of blood. I would not like to see her die. I would not like her to die.

At the same time… what am I doing? She’s a couple inches shorter than me, not an athlete but not out of shape. I probably have more physical strength than she does, but it would take only an instant’s slip, a brief failure of attention or a poor judgment of her intent or capability for this momentary standoff to escalate into something more — a seriously cut hand for her, a high-pressure test of my rusty Boy Scouts of America and American Red Cross first aid knowledge, a massive injury to myself or her, a successful suicide… even my own death at her hand.

She has few choices, and it seems I have fewer. She could surrender, release her grip. But my repeated pleas for her to let go of the knife are met with refusal. She could struggle and try to wrest control from me, but she doesn’t. Perhaps she doesn’t really want to die or cause injury to anyone, perhaps she thinks she can’t win such a contest. She could try to cut herself, as she is already clutching the bare blade of the knife in her left hand, and able to apply force along several different vectors to the goal of self-injury here if she decides to. But she doesn’t do that, either.

Minutes pass. Repeated requests to release the knife, delivered by me in tones ranging from pleading to command to beseechment to threat. Finally, her blank resistance melts a bit, and she asks me, “why?”

“Because it’s mine,” is the only thing I can think of to say.

“No it isn’t,” she retorts, turning her body such that I’m now between her and the counter with the drawer where she got the knife. I follow as gracefully as I can, maintaining my grip on her hand and her wrist as she maintains her grips on the knife’s handle and blade.

“Yes, it is. It’s my knife, and I don’t authorize this,” I tell her.

Now she is pressing backwards into me, her legs bending slightly. I struggle a bit to maintain my balance against the sudden shift and to keep my hold steady. She’s not fighting, though, she’s falling, down to the floor in a sitting position. Her hold on the knife relaxes, she drops her left hand off the blade, and I take it from her.

I gather up the other stabby and pointy things, wrap them all in a towel and stash them in the best place I can think of as she sits naked on the kitchen floor, head in hands, silent. After two hours of intermittent vomiting — and a substantial getting-my-shit-back-together period for me — she sleeps, now, more or less peacefully.

I don’t know if I’ll ever sleep again.

Christmas at Ground Zero

25 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in art, war | 12 Comments »

Weird Al Yankovic, “Christmas at Ground Zero”, 1986

It’s Christmas at ground zero
There’s music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare

It’s Christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It’s the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shopping
It’s time to face your final destiny

Its Christmas at ground zero
There’s panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or jack frost on your windowsill
But if someone’s climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

Its Christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level’s okay
I’ll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on new years day

Its Christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I’ll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

Its Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke, we’re gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

Dear tool

24 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in people | 15 Comments »

You are the technician tightening bolts on the Enola Gay. You are the clerk with the bad attitude behind the desk at the motor vehicles office. You are the janitor cleaning up the blood after the firing squad is finished. You are the programmer coding for the tax authority. You are the accountant for the land mine manufacturer. You are the policeman shooting the dog. You are the economist justifying inflation. You are the drill sergeant training men to kill. You are the legislator scheming for graft. You are the hangman tying the noose. You are the tech support person fixing the general’s email. You are the judge who beats his wife. You are the translator for the military ammunition tender. You are the inquisitor strapping the heathen to the rack. You are the logistics officer making sure the missiles get to the front line. You are the professor applying for the government grant. You are the plumber for the prison. You are the editor squelching the controversial view. You are the mathematician for the spy agency. You are the priest serving the pharaoh. You are the project manager bidding on the army contract. You are the installer putting up the surveillance camera. You are the bank officer filing the suspicious transaction report. You are the customs inspector. You are the teacher exhorting the students to pledge to the flag. You are the craftsman repairing the guillotine. You are the engineer designing the bomb. You are the businessman without conscience. You are the school principal paddling the student. You are the receptionist at the embassy. You are the security guard at the munitions dump. You are the agent infiltrating the activist group. You are the carpenter assembling the cross for the crucifixion. You are the chauffeur for the politician. You are the cop gassing the protester. You are the news commentator apologizing for war. You are the doctor preparing the lethal injection. You are the lawyer justifying torture. You are the research assistant at the bio-weapons lab. You are the informant ratting out the neighbor. You are the construction worker building the border fence. You are the graphic designer for the propaganda campaign. You are the soldier bayoneting the child.

How can you sleep at night?

Merry Christmas, you fucking tool.

The light at the end of the tunnel

22 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in economics | 6 Comments »

M E M O R A N D U M

To: All Employees

Date: 22 December 2008

Due to the current financial crisis facing the world, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off until further notice to save on electricity costs.

Yours truly,

The Management

Elsewhere, part 2

22 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary | No Comments »

Second in a series tracking media and blogosphere reaction to my renunciation of US citizenship. The first part is here. Thanks to everyone who has been helping spread the word!

Mainstream media:

I received an email on Wednesday asking if I would make myself available for an interview with a major Slovak weekly magazine, Plus 7 dní. I replied in the affirmative right away. Several hours later, I got a message back saying that the magazine would not be writing on this topic at this time. Someone’s story idea got shot down by an editor.

News sites:

My jaw dropped to see my own story featured as the lead item on the December 16 issue of Strike the Root. Wow. I’m honored.

Blogs:

Royce Christian, at his new .urbandissent blog: Souless? Not such a bad thing… (post on state provision of the identity, partly inspired by my renunciation)

Enlightened Rogue: Quotes of the Week (quotation from press release)

Free of State: “PAY US, OR WE WILL KILL YOU” — RENOUNCE THE STATE (press release)

Greensboring: He gave up his U.S. citizenship (press release link, favorable blog post, mixed discussion)

Bob Kaercher’s The Postmodern Tribune: Randomly Associational Interwebbery (press release link, friendly commentary)

Liberty Pile: Weekly Minute 12/13/2008-12/19/2008 (link to press release)

Martin Rojko: Mike Gogulski bez štátneho občianstva (press release, in Slovak)

John Simpson’s jms1blog: A friend has renounced his US Citizenship (press release link, friendly commentary)

Forums:

Baexpats (Buenos Aires expat forum): Divorce with USA (press release, generally unfriendly discussion)

Anywhere in the world, if a smoking hot, rich, brilliant, funny, creative, intellectually curious, athletic, caring, considerate woman is willing to put up with a guy like me so that she can have permanent legal access to the USA, I’m totally game. Why would someone take such a valuable commodity and flush it down the toilet?

– “Napoleon”, posting in the comments

Oh noes! My chances with shallow, opportunistic women seeking to realize their princess dreams by hooking up with rich foreigners have been totally ruined!

Mises Institute Forum: Bratislava resident renounces American citizenship, becomes stateless person (link posted by DixieFlatline of the No Treason blog, generally friendly discussion)

Slovak-World Yahoo Group: Stateless in Slovakia (press release link, generally unfriendly or irrelevant discussion)

Stormfront: American renounces citizenship and becomes stateless (press release, discussion ranging from positive to utterly bizarre)

Receiving attention from the Intertube’s most notorious white supremacist website is decidedly creepy. Link posted, with reservations, for the sake of completeness.

UPDATED:

Other:

YouTube: Mike gives USA One Finger Salute, by AzraelsJudgment of Azrael’s Free Thoughts (friendly report and commentary)

Imperialist running-dog lackeys we can believe in

21 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in art, politics | No Comments »

Halp! HTML/CSS issue

20 December 2008 by Mike Gogulski
Posted in diary | 8 Comments »

So, can any of my readers who are web programmers/designers tell me why the list of Reddit stories I added to my center column lines up properly in Firefox and Opera but has each line indented by one pixel more than the line above it in MSIE?